Partner Blames AI Hallucination for LinkedIn Post Dictated While Hallucinating

Pemberton Rook has commissioned an urgent investigation into an AI hallucination after an equity partner’s assistant published an accurate account of a conversation he was having with the firm’s balance sheet.

The balance sheet was not, at the time, speaking.

The incident occurred at the UK Super Sister’s annual partner retreat, where an “expanded thinking” session had been added between the profitability review and a compulsory walk. Organisers confirmed that participants had received a bad batch of psychedelics. Several reported unusually vivid perceptions of the partnership’s operating model.

Corporate partner Felix Dacre became convinced the balance sheet was sitting opposite him in a fleece. Witnesses said it had the voice of the finance director but was considerably more willing to answer questions.

The dictation function on Mr Dacre’s AI assistant, Nearly, had been left running. When he told the balance sheet to “put that out there”, the assistant published the following on LinkedIn.

The post

An unusually honest conversation about leadership this morning.

We keep saying our people are our greatest asset, but you have put them under costs, you rectangular bastard.

Our growth strategy is for last year’s associates to do this year’s work at next year’s rates. Innovation means they can now do it twice. The partnership’s role is to retain the saving and speak warmly about their development.

I understand the leverage model. Stop showing me the ladder. There isn’t a top for most of them.

Anyway, delighted to be spending time with colleagues away from the office.

#AuthenticLeadership #PeopleFirst

Within twenty minutes, three general counsel had praised the post’s candour. One called it “the first piece of law-firm thought leadership I’ve finished”. A procurement director asked whether the second paragraph could be incorporated into the next panel agreement.

Marketing initially congratulated Mr Dacre on a successful departure from the firm’s usual voice. Its position changed when he replied that he had always wanted to say those things but had previously lacked permission from a document.

Extracts from the retreat incident log

10.14: Finance slide addressed as “Stephen”. No Stephen present.

10.17: Mr Dacre requests that the balance sheet stop making eye contact.

10.19: LinkedIn notification received. Initially treated as further altered perception.

10.24: Marketing asks whether authenticity was signed off.

10.41: Expanded-thinking facilitator unavailable for comment. Believes he is a limited liability partnership.

Mr Dacre subsequently described the post as “a deeply concerning example of generative AI making things up”. He offered to chair a working group on responsible adoption.

Nearly’s review compared the published text with its audio recording and found a faithful transcription. The sole editorial intervention was a comma. A request to classify the phrase “rectangular bastard” as a model artefact was declined after investigators heard Mr Dacre repeat it seven times.

The firm’s incident lead said: “We are satisfied that a hallucination occurred. The difficulty is establishing that it occurred in the software.”

Managing partner Sir Giles Pemberton confirmed that Pemberton Rook remained committed to innovation, immersive leadership development and statements issued through appropriate channels. Future retreats would include a mandatory module on distinguishing between an assistant and an interlocutor.

The facilitators’ invoice has been placed on hold pending clarification of the line item “breakthrough”.

Marketing has retained “you rectangular bastard” for testing against the firm’s existing recruitment strapline.